I hope your dog runs away
I hope your pretty teeth decay
I hope your car runs out of gas
I hope you fall in broken glass
Cause I'm an asshole
Yeah, I'm an asshole
I hope you get something in your eye
I hope your pet fish dies
I hope you have trouble getting to sleep
I hope you're late every day of the week
Cause I'm an asshole
Yeah, I'm an asshole
I hope your wallet gets stolen by terrorists
I hope you crash your car into a deer
I hope you get robbed by your therapist
And that he cuts off both your ears
I hope you fall into a black hole
I hope a demon devours your soul
I hope you get struck by lightening
I hope that you are dying